A few weeks ago, someone I have come to respect and care for deeply asked an intricate question. This question has been pin-balling around my mind, bouncing through my heart and containing my thoughts even since he uttered those words so nonchalantly.
Tell me where you are in 5 years??
5 years…that’s a long time from now or is it?? Wow, 2020. Really? What does that look like and feel like? For me, for the planet, for the world? Can anyone really say for sure? So many questions…where does one find the answers?
Do I hold tight to a plan full of precise goals and mile markers or do I just let go of what I want and see how life unfolds? The first is so…so strict and closed to all possible opportunities leaving no room for error. No room for new ideas.. The latter? The latter is, well, irresponsible and childish lacking direction and responsibility. Or is it?
I am not confused about what I want. I want to quench my thirst for life and nourish my soul. I want to grow and expand in ways never thought possible. I want to break my heart wide open, touch lives and inspire those around me. I want to love so strongly it’s unstoppable. A life overflowing with compassion, wonder and beauty. All shared with that one…that one who get’s me and I get him, engulfing each other in love, support and understanding.
Is that too much to ask? Am I supposed to be more methodical and realistic? Conforming to society, moving to the rhythmic drumbeat of the status quo. I fight the pressures of the crowd that unconsciously conditions our minds, tells us to follow the path of least resistance. I will not succumb to ‘normal’. That is not who I am nor who I want to be.
My relationships are not shallow. Tears flow, my heart breaks, and disappointments are inevitable. I am still me: fiercely loyal, understanding, intense, and intrepidly passionate. When I love you, you know it. It’s available to everyone I invite into my life. I give all of myself…
I may not have a set plan for year 2020 but….I most certainly know the type of life I will live. I will stand up for what I believe and fight for the environment that is so crucial to our well-being. Spread loving-kindness and teach others to cultivate self-love. Live my life wholeheartedly with adventure, heartfelt connections, and finding magic in the ordinary. What exactly that will look like I do not know and that’s ok.
So tell me….where will you be in 5 years??